Why did I let myself get this way?

A new year means a new start right? So why is it that I am still stuffing my face like, well, like a pig? Why is it that I have no willpower to say no? All my life I have struggled with food and been overweight. I would fast then binge, fast then binge and it has been an never ending cycle. Most of the time I do not even want to eat, I just do out of boredom. So, I have decided to change. I have nothing in life going for me and I do not want to die when I am 20, fat, ugly, and worthless. At my funeral they would ask: "oh what did she ever do? Well, she ate herself to death."

That will NOT be me. I want to go see the world, to live life and I cannot in this body. I have never been to the beach and I would love to go see the ocean and swim in it(or near it) one day. But trust me when I say that NO ONE wants to see me try to fit myself into a bathing suit. The sight would scar people for life XD
About Me:
weight: 210lbs *dies of embarrassment*
Where the fat is located: legs, thighs, arms, face and this tire that is called my stomach area.
Occupation: Student in 1st year University, lots of sitting on my fat ass at the computer.

My goal is to fast 3 days a week and to eat no more than 500 calories a day. I know that is considered anorexic by some, but at this point I no longer care. I have been fat and miserable my entire life. I just want to be normal and happy for once.
Did you know that 1 food calorie is 1000 actual calories(energy)? Food calories are counted in kilocals so when doctors say eat 2,200 calories a day, in actual calories it is 2,200,000! That is crazy how much food a person puts in their body!

I do not except anyone to read this blog. I am just doing this to keep myself motivated. Maybe I can actually do this. But if anyone knows any exercises that require little muscle mass to begin with *I am all fat, no muscle :(*,they would be appreciated.